Sunday, December 1, 2013

The silence isn't so bad till I look at my hands and feel sad. Because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. 
Owl City, Ocean Eyes

Saturday, November 30, 2013

*Maine Mere Jaana (EMPTINESS) Lyrics - Female Version* 

Tu Aaja 
Tu Aaja 

Mujhko Meri Sazaa Toh Suna Jaa 
Woh Aahein Haan Woh Aansu... 
Mere Hisse Ke Mujhko Rula Jaa 

Sapne Tere Saare Jinme Main Rehti Thi 
Tukde Ban Ke Mere 
Zakhm Seene Me Kar Gaye Ho 

Maine Mere Jaana Kyun Nahi Jaana 
Ishq Tera, Dard Tera 
Maine Mere Jaana Kyun Nahi Jaana 

Ishq Tera, Dard Tera 
Akeli Akeli 
Reh Gayi Bin Tere Yun Akeli 
Main Tadpoo'n Ya Taarsoo'n 
Ya Chali Aau'n Main Paas Tere 
Itni Tanhai Hai Zindagi Kho Gayi 

Baatein Karne Saari Aa Rahi Hoon Tujhse Hi 
Maine Mere Jaana Ab Hai Jaana..... 
Ishq Tera Dard Tera Haaye 
Maine Mere Jaaana Ab Hai Jaana 
Ishq Tera Dard Tera 

Tu Jo Gaya...... 
Haal Ye Mera Rehta Hai 
Dil Ye Mera Aaa..Aaa.... 
Khud Se Hi Tanha Rehta Hai 

And I Feel Too Lonely Yeah... 
Thats A Better Place Than This 
Emptiness 

And I'm Too Lonely 
Thats A Better Place Than This 
Emptiness
Tere Bin Sanu Sohnia
Rabbi Shergill

Tere bin sanu sohnia koyee hor nahio labhna
 Jo dave ruh nu saku chukke jo nakhra meraa
 Ve mai sare ghumm key vekhia amrika, rus, malaysia
 Kittey vi koyee fark see, har kise dee koyee shart see
 Koyee mangda meraa see sama, koyee hunda surat te fida
 Koyee mangda meree see wafa, naa koyee mangda merian bala
 Tere bin hor naa kise, mangnee meria bala
 Tere bin hor naa kise, karnee dhup vich chhan
 Tere bin sanu sohnia, koyee hor nahio labhna
 Jo dave ruh nu sakun chukke jo nakhra meraa
 
 Jive rukia see tun jara, nahio bhulna mai saree umar
 Jive akhia see akhan chura, "rovenga sanu yad kar"
 Hasia see mai hasa ajib, (par) too nahee see hasia
 Dil vich teraa jo raj see, mainu too kyon nee dasia
 Tere bin sanu eh raj, kise hor nahion dasna
 Tere bin peerh da ilaj, kis vaid kolon labhna
 Tere bin sanu sohnia, koyee hor nahio labhna
 Jo dave ruh nu sakun chukke jo nakhra meraa
 
 Milia see ajj mainu teraa ik patra
 Likhia see jiste tun shayr varey shah da
 Park key see osnu hanjnu ik duliya
 Akhan' ch band see seh raj ajj khulia
 Kee tere bin eh mere hanjnu, kise hor nahio chumna
 Kee tere bin eh mere hanjhu, mittee vich rulnha
 Tere bin sanu sohnia, koyee hor nahio labhna
 Jo dave ruh nu sakun chukke jo nakhra meraa

Хочу у зеркала, где муть
И сон туманящий,
Я выпытать - куда Вам путь
И где пристанище.

Я вижу: мачта корабля,
И Вы - на палубе...
Вы - в дыме поезда... Поля
В вечерней жалобе -

Вечерние поля в росе,
Над ними - вороны...
- Благословляю Вас на все
Четыре стороны!

Марина, Цветаева, 3 мая 1915


***

I’d like to ask the mirrored glass, -
All hazy, mystical, and foggy, -
To show where are you heading,
And where you’ll find a shelter.

I look and see: An old ship’s mast.
There, on the deck, you’re standing…
You, by the clouded train… The vast,
Green fields, at night, lamenting…

The evening countryside in dew,
There, ravens soar in flight…
--My dear one, I bless you
To go wherever you like!

Marina Tsvetaeva, May 3, 1915

Thursday, November 28, 2013



My days go busy, And mostly i'm glad I don't have a moment to stop and think..
But when those idle moments come inbetween..
The feeling of being lost rises and overflows the edges of my existence

I don't know what I feel, and I don't know what should I feel.

And I'm searching in all songs and all poems
To find the words which could tell me 
what's this emptiness inside me which is not giving me peace..
There's no such song, and there's no such poem..


A new song by Zemfira and my translation
The Uchpochmack - Lightbulbs

Time to burn the bridges
Time to look for an answer
And change the burnt-out bulbs

Time to burn the bridges
Time to look for an answer
And change the burnt-out bulbs

A Long night,
Exhausting days,
And the apartment is smoked,
Too smoked
And the rain has set in since the morning
And there's a sigh left inside

And my heart will not survive,
Will not survive for sure

And i live in a delirium-like state of mind
I'm just trying to "be" (exist)
I'm a tiny human being
And I need to swim somewhere
I need some kind of a light
So I could see at least dreams


Time to burn the bridges
Time to look for an answer
And change the burnt-out bulbs

Time to burn the bridges
Time to look for an answer
And change the burnt-out bulbs


There are no ships,
Not a single soul around
And its so cold on the street
Scary and cold
And these shadows from the street lights
and the High-beam from vehicles

And my heart will not survive,
Will not survive for sure

And i live in a delirium-like state of mind
I'm just trying to "be" (exist)
I'm just a tiny human being
And I need to swim somewhere
I need some kind of a light
So I could see at least dreams


Time to burn the bridges
Time to look for an answer
And change the burnt-out bulbs

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

one month left only.. just four weeks to enjoy India to the fullest.. then - it's time to start my new life, in the new place..

Thursday, January 17, 2008




when was the time when i gave up completely? :)

so, anyway =) here are my pictures in saree:

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

i guess for the past 2 months something is just terribly going wrong... dont take this as absolute pessimism.. believe me, i'm not the one..

i wouldnt say that past events don't make me stronger and smarter, - yes, they do.. but should it be this way, - way of loss..?

Yes, maybe I'm not so open as everyone else, and it takes time for me to start trusting a person.. but if i do trust someone - that means that this person is important to me.. and i don't want to lose him/her..so why its happening then? where is this point of misunderstanding?
and most important - why can't i do anything to change it? and the question is why.. if i would understand it..- probably it would be easier.. but i don't understand.. so i can't accept it i guess..

and i'm trying to be positive about whatever is happening, but i guess my attempts are not enough.. And i know, for some people it seems like i'm not trying at all.. and for some people i'm behaving strange.. i guess i really need a strong kick..

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sometimes I just feel like I woke up from looooong time dreaming. Sometimes I start seeing world with different eyes - some new look..
And I wondering - How could I be so narrow-minded before? why coundn't I see all of these before?

Sometimes we are so into our own world, our own thoughts, our own problems, - that we just don't see what is there around us, and what are those new opportunities and surprises the life gives us..